Learning to Bartend.

Ah.  Learning to bartend – this is quite a responsibility not to be taken lightly.  Think about the first bartender of whom you ever asked for a drink.  What brought you two together at that moment?  How did he get there.  ForMr. Murray Stenson to you.

instance, some will want to become a bartender because they see a great mixologist across the bar and want to follow in that bartender’s footsteps (AKA – The Murray Stenson Army).  On the other hand, some have dreams of working in a club bar, pouring shots from a bar-gun into little plastic cups and not getting gonorrhea.  If I had to guess, I’d surmise that none of those folks are reading this, so we will move past their pustules and questionable ‘cocktails’ – that kind of bartending is more fitting for people that think that it’s too difficult to ‘date’ on Myspace.

So, You Want To Be A Bartender

Bartending really is an art.  Rally it is.  AND, it takes the dedicated input of a trained individual!  Someone has to tell you why whisky can also be spelled whiskey, for instance.  Someone has to tell you why one can’t pour a mixture of spirits into a martini glass, stick some silly garnish on top and then call that drink a ‘martini’.  So, if one can’t be lucky enough to find a good teacher, then one needs to go to bartending school!

Kinda like this one.  Let this man be your teacher, be his Padawan.  Especially note how no one uses fresh fruit any longer…and how one should deal with a runny nose…

“There’s many different types of rum…different colors…but…uh…”

Note the full three and a half seconds that he wipes his nose on the back of his hand…this being the THIRD time that he has variously picked and wiped his nose…I don’t know if this is really any worse than how he just poured one ounce of rum into the mixing glass and then TWO ounces of bottled sweet and sour mix…

“Nobody really uses fresh limes anymore…so most times it’s easer to go out and buy a commercial brand of sweet and sour mix…”

“Will it taste better with fresh lime juice?  Yes…but…they’re a lot more work…I’m just trying to show you the easy way to make a drink…”

At least he’s honest…

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3 Responses to “Learning to Bartend.”

  1. caskstrength Says:

    A pox on that man for he is certainly the snot nosed devil, woe to all that would cut corners in trade for ease.

  2. […] and non-specific its because its in response to a post that my friend Andrew Friedman posted of the worst bartending video ever. But really, you should read more about Japanese Whiskey at his […]

  3. He reads so well, as in when he has to read the bottle of rum – we are using … uh ……………. Bacardi. Its kind of scary to think what kind of rum he must usually use.

    I’m so glad he uses sweet and sour mix so that his drinks are “consistent”

    Its scary to think people might pay money to attend this school

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